Listen up, ladies. If you’ve ever stared at your phone, wondering if your boyfriend is speaking in code or if you’ve just had one too many White Claws, this one’s for you. We’re about to dive deep into the cryptic world of boyfriend text messages. What his text messages mean? What is he on about? Is it normal or is he over me?
It’s like trying to decipher ancient hieroglyphics, but instead of cool pictures, it’s just a bunch of half-assed emojis and “k”s.
It’s time to spill the tea on what your man really means when he slides into your DMs.
Decoding His Text Messages
The One-Letter Wonder: “K”
When your man hits you with a simple “K,” it’s about as warm and fuzzy as a cactus in your underwear. Translation: He’s either pissed off or couldn’t care less about continuing this convo. If this becomes his go-to response, it might be time to send him a one-letter text of your own. Bye, Felicia.
The Ominous AF: “We need to talk”
Cue the anxiety attack. These four words are basically the relationship equivalent of “Winter is coming.” It usually means he’s got something serious on his mind, probably about your relationship. Pro tip: Start planning your emotional defense strategy now.
The Lazy Ass Thumbs Up: “👍”
Nothing says “I’m putting in zero effort” quite like a thumbs up emoji. He’s acknowledging your message but doesn’t want to use actual words like a grown-up. If this becomes a habit, you might want to consider upgrading to a boyfriend who knows how to use the English language.
The Bullshit Detector: “I’m fine”
Newsflash: He’s not fine. In fact, he’s probably about as “fine” as you are after five shots of tequila. This response is guy code for “I’m upset but I’d rather eat glass than talk about my feelings.” Time to channel your inner therapist and get him to spill.
The Booty Call Setup: “What are you up to?”
Ah, the classic. He’s thinking about you, sure, but let’s be real – he’s probably thinking about your body more than your sparkling personality right now. If it’s past 10 PM, proceed with caution (or enthusiasm, we don’t judge).
Wondering if you are dating the red flag factory? Find out here!
The Classic Excuse: “Sorry, I fell asleep”
Yeah, and I’m the Queen of England. While this could be legit (we’ve all passed out watching TikToks), if it’s happening more often than not, he might be ghosting you harder than Casper. Time to wake him up to reality.
The Rare Gem: “I miss you 😘”
Hold onto your ovaries, ladies. This is the unicorn of text messages. He’s actually expressing genuine feelings without being prompted. Mark this day in your calendar and maybe buy a lottery ticket while you’re at it.
The Rain Check: “Can I call you later?”
Translation: He wants to talk but can’t right now because he’s either: a) actually busy, b) with another girl, or c) on the toilet. Choose your own adventure with this one.
The Conversation Killer: “Haha”
Nothing dries up a conversation faster than a simple “Haha.” It’s the text equivalent of a limp handshake. Either he found what you said mildly amusing but has the personality of a wet paper bag, or he’s trying to end this convo faster than you can say “left on read.”
The Busy Signal: “I’ve been really busy lately”
Ah yes, the classic “it’s not you, it’s my completely packed schedule” excuse. While he might genuinely be swamped, if he’s consistently too busy to text you back but has time to like every thirst trap on Instagram, it might be time to make him permanently busy – by dumping his ass.
Remember, in the grand scheme of things, if his texts are leaving you more confused than a Kardashian at a Mensa meeting, it’s probably time to upgrade. Life’s too short for bad texters and even worse boyfriends. Now go forth and conquer those conversations, you magnificent, over-analyzing queens. And if all else fails, there’s always wine and your group chat to help you figure out what the hell he meant by “👍”.